I started taking notes two Februarys ago as I was missing a person I had liked for really only a little while, but whose absence opened up a channel of missing, into which poured so much emptiness and negative space that I became an outline . I was missing , On the inside and outside of the line that used to be filled with Me was something quiet and pitch black. And like tears and glass . Easily not there .. .

Initial findings, varied approaches:

+ ppl might expel missing. yelling at someone they didn’t want to yell at or waking up before 7am and running miles like they’re trying to run a full tank of gas to empty . what they are trying to empty out is missing, Is emptiness ∴ this kind of process might never fully end

+ Ppl might ingest missing. Drugs or food or ginger-turmeric shots.

+ coming down off a ketamine high One girl tells me that when she feels a void she goes out and spends a lot of time with other people until she forgets. She says maybe I should try

+ possibly some people miss so much that they get used to it and don’t call it missing anymore. they might call it Just the way things are

+ There are the people who look out a window. their hearts might be missing , …. but. they don’t think about this much

++ missing is easy once started ∵: a single person or place or thing contains ~ hundreds of previously lived, and potentially lived, other moments. So when one thing leaves, the absence it leaves behind is often twice, or ten times, or fifty times its size. having One thing once can be So much to endure

Relevant experience :

+ Absence as a great and expanding plain on which I was wandering and whose winds I was evaporating into .

something like that

Missing = transportation = Taking your self away from where you are, to moments/places that u are not :

1. Dangers and risks of transport :

a. if people who are missing miss for too long, they can become missing people. Where did they go? They don’t know either . they went to Somewhere where they are not

i. You are not here → so I am not here → (because I’ve gone after you)

b. Mirages, illusions of fullness . e.g. A generous person , A new pair of shoes , A shiny city. Something big that seems like it will fill the channel of missing but turns out to be like a spoon under a running faucet

2. Potential benefits / souvenirs

a. Strengthened memory

b. vivid imagination

c. unlocked capacity for time travel ?

d. Weird dreams

e. more questions

considering also :

WE GO PLACES ALL THE TIME

WHAT WE DO TO GET TO DIFFERENT PLACES CAN ALWAYS PUT US IN DANGER

WE STILL HAVE TO GO PLACES BECAUSE WE ARE COMPELLED TO

DO NOT GO WITHOUT OBSERVATION

DO NOT GO WITHOUT DIGNITY

WHEN YOU GO TO A DIFFERENT PLACE YOU DON’T APPEAR THERE, YOU ARRIVE

ARRIVAL IS THE RESULT OF JOURNEYING . APPEARANCE IS THE RESULT OF DISAPPEARING. YOU HAVE NOT DISAPPEARED .

Suggested thoughts to consider or implant upon arrival :

WHO IS MISSING → I AM → .. . .OK NOT ANYMORE

IF U HAVE EMPTINESS IN YOUR HANDS YOU ARE NOT EMPTY HANDED

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE SOMEWHERE IM NOT → OK WHERE R U → IM HERE

I MISS SO MUCH → EVERY EMPTY SPACE IS FULL OF MISSING → EVERY EMPTY SPACE IS FULL → I’VE FILLED IT → (WITH MISSING)